Last night I had the worst panic attack I've had in about a decade.


Due to a lot of factors, none on their own major, but the culmanation of which made me have like a full-on psychotic break, or something.

I don't remember much, as one of the factors was heavy drink, but I woke up at noon (it is usually physically impossible for me to sleep past 9AM) today on a bed in complete disarray in the middle of a room in perfect, obsessive order, loosely holding a sword.


I don't know what all I did.

I remember some things, i.e.

-Being a jackass on a internet forum
-Drive around stupid drunk in my complex's parking lot
-Writing emails that I thankfully never sent


This is funny, maybe: I ended up in my car trying to fall asleep, but then decided I'll be damned if I'm not sleeping in my own bed, so I get out

of the trunk

and walk back to my apartment

disheveled

skunk-ass drunk

in pajamas

carrying a sword and a water bottle and something else

and I pass a police officer heading to his cruiser to start his early work day, he greets me and I cheerfully greet him back.



This is not how I behave normally, this is embarrassing to the point of trauma for me.