Monday, September 19, 2005

Agkistrodon Piscivorus Conanti Crotalus Adamanteus and other incantations.

Saturday morning I was playing around with a nightlight in the bathroom that will switch off when the overhead light is turned on.


I think it's cool. Maybe the switch toggles between the outlet and the overhead.


When I unplugged it and plugged it back in, it flickered and wouldn't beam steadily. When I let go of it it went out. When I touched it again it flickered back to life. When I let it go it went out.





When I stood on the threshold of the bathroom, it shone steadily, when I stepped inside it went out, but would shine again if I cupped my hand around it without touching it.

It also shone steadily if I stood in the threshold of my room down the hall. It would go out if I stepped out of my room into the hallway.


Why in God's name are you reading this still?


The light would shine the strongest if I cupped it with my right hand without touching it. It would go out immediately if I took a step back.



Obviously the light was responding to the waves of mystical energy I emit. I wandered to my desk and rummaged around for a pentacle signing worksheet I'd had for a couple of years now.


Because, why not?

I tried summoning fire of course, which didn't work, and after trying to summon spirit and even air I tried banishings to put the light out of its misery once and for all.

The light flickered on in spite of my hexing of it.


"Hex" is probably a misnomer.

Anyways, the moral of the story is even though I obviously emanate fantastic amounts of energy, I fail at the most basic of magickings, probably because I lack focus and purity of vision.

The nightlight in question lived on to have a full and productive life, and currently resides in northern California with its wife and children.


Or, you know, it's still in my bathroom and it works fine.

-------------------------------------------------------


Saturday night I was mounting the stairs to my apartment when I was startled by the panicked flailings of a baby snake on the floor. It went for the walls and I moved ahead of it so it couldn't get past me. I blocked it with a handy CD (Scissor Sisters) that I was carrying in case it was poisonous. The bady snake (whom it took me all of five seconds to name "Stansfield") struck the CD several times.

Bonk bonk bonk bonk



Stansfield is dark green with a dark diamond pattern, and I realize he could be the wonderfully deadly and rare eastern diamondback rattlesnake and am alarmed, but I see no rattles.


Of course, baby don't have rattles, just fully fuctional fangs and venom glands.



bonk

Also, he was green, and not brown, so he's probably neither a diamondback nor a cottonmouth, even though we're near a river.


bonk bonk

Poor Stansfield. I bet he was just seeing his reflection.




My instinct was to capture it, but I really have no use for maybe-deadly reflection-hating snakelets.



Here's to hoping that Stansfield made it to the river before someone stomped him. He might be endangered after all.







If Stansfield was a diamondback, then I've run into those about twenty times before back in my yard in DuPont.

Although we always end up running in opposite directions.






Of course, now I'm wondering, where's mommy Stansfield?

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